better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
