you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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