I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
