no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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