Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
