I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
