We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
