So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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