things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
