Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
