how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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