i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
