I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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