What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize