i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
