i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
