We won't sleep together?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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