Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
