You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
