There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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