Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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