how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
