so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize