this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
