Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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