the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
