The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
