I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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