Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
