Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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