I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize