I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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