Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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