hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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