you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
