everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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