Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
