im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
