Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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