Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
