just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize