If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
