I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize