i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
