Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
