the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
