My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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