Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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