My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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