So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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