operation harelip BJ is a go
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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