I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
