i would punch a child for taco bell
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
