shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize