highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my shit smells like andre
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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