when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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