omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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