Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
