Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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