like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
