im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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