Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
