Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
