okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
