I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
