On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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